Afternoon tea review: NGV Tea Room

I always try to have my birthday off work if it's at all possible. This year I managed to swing not just 1 but 3 days. Tom and I will be having 2 days in Melbourne and then 2 days in the beautiful Yarra Valley. Top of the agenda is eating. I am quite looking forward to it!

Today is the first day of the special long, long weekend, and I was lucky to spend a delightful afternoon with one of my favourite people in one of my favourite places. My friend Anna is a children's writer and academic whom I have known for over 20 years (we met in high school) and who lives in Melbourne. Her birthday happens to fall the day before mine, and every now and then comes an opportunity for us to celebrate our birthdays together.

I tend to shun parties in my own honour, finding it awkward to be the centre of attention. I have only ever had two birthday parties in my life: my 6th birthday party was not a great success (as you will deduce from the attached photograph at left which commerorates that day). The only other birthday party I ever had was a joint 18th birthday party with Anna. In those days we had many joint friends, and both of us thought that having a joint party would take the spotlight (and the pressure) of each of us as individuals. It was held at a restaurant in Canberra now closed but which I still remember for its lovely desserts. Anyway, that birthday party was a great success. We were chuffed that everyone we invited actually came, and even more chuffed that we both, surprisingly, had a good time.

But back to the present day. Today Anna and I had afternoon tea at the NGV tea room, with browsing at the NGV bookstore before and after (of course) and capped off with a glass of wine at La Vite Buona, a lovely wine bar which makes you feel like you're in a musty French cellar (but in a good way!).

Now, I just love the idea of tea rooms in cultural institutions, but sadly they are so often disappointing affairs with no elegance whatsoever. They are usually uninspiring, over lit, sterile feeding pens with overpriced bain marie slop and dreadful chairs dragging constantly over bare floor surfaces. Many of these places feel as inviting as the cafeteria at IKEA, but without the lovely Dime cake you can at least get at the otherwise soulless IKEA cafe. And usually no one knows how to make a cup of tea in these 'tea rooms' of the modern day cultural institution (I note that apparently in England there are many good tea rooms and even champagne lounges in cultural institutions; that is not generally so here in the colonies).

I am delighted to report that the NGV tea room is quite refreshingly elegant, yet understated. It is a proper, modern tea room - not a cafeteria nightmare.

We had a seat right on the balcony edge, so we could peer and sneer at the comings and goings in the lobby below with the lovely water wall providing a restful backdrop. The only gripe about the setting was that the seats were just far too low and deep - a common sin.

The tea room does offer a three tier platter but we decided instead to just order a couple of plates of sandwiches and a small petit four each. This proved to be an excellent idea. The sandwiches, whilst a little expensive for what they were, really were quite delicious and creative. The selection of teas was very satisfactory. The petit fours were delicious, but it was very hard to decide what to have from such a tempting selection.

The NGV tea room proved a great location for a relaxing cuppa and catch up with an old friend, with very good food. Service was friendly, if a little bit patchy at times. Those uncomfortable seats though were not a delight, and it was a bit pricey. Overall, it gets a seal of approval with 7 out of 10 on the Scott Scale.

The picture below shows some of the food and tea ware. And Anna's leg - you can see how impractically low both the lounge and the table are. But the food looks, and was, good.

Asian high tea (kind of)

This past weekend Tom and I went to Melbourne, which is always a nice thing to do (I still miss living there, I must admit).

We stayed with Tom's parents in East Melbourne, near to my old flat in Richmond and we had a walk around Bridge Road and down to the Gleadell Street Markets. I bought a couple of Chinese boxes that I had been eyeing off for over a year (I bought them as a birthday present to myself, with my birthday being later this week). We also saw a movie at the Palace Como and had a nice Japanese dinner at the great restaurant across the road, just like old days :)

Over the weekend we also went to the Oriental Tea House in South Yarra, which is a nice place to get a late night yum cha or practically any kind of fancy tea you might need. There were having an Oriental style high tea, in which we partook. It was basically a selection of savoury and sweet dim sum with tea. It was quite nice although somehow not quite as special as I'd hoped.

Different types of tea rooms

With all of my talk about afternoon tea I have been rather neglectful of a different kind of tea room that has been emerging in Australia - that is, the Asian-style team room serving cold tea drinks that make the most perfect refreshment on a hot summer afternoon.

I recently discovered Ten-Ren's Tea Cafe (there are two of them, seemingly identical, opposite each other in Swanston Street). So far I have tried their kumquat green tea, watermelon green tea and plum green tea. My favourite is the kumquat. These cold drinks are absolutely delicious on a hot day. Next time I will try one of their cold milk tea drinks. I also love the no-nonsense decor of the cafes which feel just like they have been plucked right out of a bustling Hong Kong side street.

Iced teas are perfect for a summer afternoon. I make my own black iced tea at home by simply filling a container with cold water and putting in some of my favourite black tea leaves and leaving overnight. I then serve it poured over ice the following afternoon with a bit of fresh lemon or lime. I never add any sugar.

Afternoon tea review: Conservatory at Crown

Today we braved the hordes of tourists in shorts and fanny packs admiring the gloomy glitz of Crown Casino (where there was a crowd-pulling Christmas extravaganzza show seemingly every 5 minutes, despite it being 2 days after Christmas) to try afternoon tea at the Conservatory restaurant (which is not really a conservatory, although it does have some big windows). Of course, it's not really an afternoon tea as such that they provide, it's a buffet tiffin, so there is a more substantial food offering than an ordinary afternoon tea, including various dim sums and similar hot finger foods, as well as sandwiches, salads, scones, lots of sweets (mostly chocoloate), fruit and ice cream, as well as a crepe station.

I thought the venue was nice enough, except for the awful Christmas music and the fact that all of the patrons were bunched up at one end of the room. The buffet was generous and the range of food was quite good, with the hot food and sauces being particularly good. The tea, imported from Germany ($6 for a small pot, which to me seemed rather pricey, but nothing compared to the $10.91 for a bottle of sparkling mineral water)

On the Scott Scale, I give it a 6.5 out of 10. The food itself was quite good, and the room was potentially quite pleasant (if they had not crammed all of the patrons on top of each other, leaving half of the room empty) but I did not think the service was quite as conscientious as it could have been, and I did think that it was very expensive at $38 a head (not including any beverages). That said, the food was good and the vast majority of people there - mostly large groups - all seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Melbourne Writers Festival

I have not posted in a while, mostly because I have been super busy with my studies of late, but tonight I went to a really fabuloous event and had a great time so thought I'd do a quick post about it.

There seems to always be a festival on in Melbourne, and currently it is the Melbourne Writers' Festival. Tonight I went to an event called Babble's Liner Notes, where a group of artistic and comedic types are each given a song from an iconic album and then they do some sort of spoken work response to it. This year they did Michael Jackson's Thriller. In between the performances there was a great band playing some of songs from the album. It was all quite fun but a particular standour for me was the hilarious Yana Alana and her response to Billie Jean.

I'm not sure how often these Liner Notes events are on but based on tonight's show I'd say they are well worth going to!

An afternoon in the City

Winter is a great time in Melbourne's city, because it makes all of those cozy laneways the city is famous for even cosier and because the cold weather opens up a range of great food options. Plus, a coffee is much more enjoyable when it's grey and chilly.

Today was my first day off work since the uni semester started this week - the final semester of my masters degree. I had very good intentions and a list of things to do: get up early, clean my flat including the neglected bathroom and kitchen, then make a detailed grocery list, catch the train into Queen Vic Markets to buy lots of fresh food, then come home and get fully up to date with all my study for the week. Well, it did not work out that way.

Last night, I got home quite late from work, then ended up going out and staying out much later than I had intended to (winter is also a good time to go out at nighttime in Melbourne). This meant this morning I not only overslept, but really did not feel like house cleaning or grocery shopping when I did get myself together. Instead, I had a very lazy morning reading a book (Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion, which I am enjoying very much - I did not get around to reading anything study related despite my good intentions), and when I did leave the flat at about middayI caught the tram from Bridge Road into the city where I collected my Melbourne International Film Festival pass (the festival starts this week; I'm going to see 10 films and quite looking forward to it, although I'm not sure how I'll juggle it all around work and study). I the ambled up Swanston Street to Reader's Feast bookstore, where I had a "loyalty" gift voucher that I redeemed for a book on good coffee places in Melbourne and a book about Veuve Clicquot, the founder of the champagne house.

I enjoyed the lively atmosphere of Swanston Street - the street is alive with international students and the hundreds of cheap "hole in the wall" eateries catering to them, along with buskers, tourists, all those pesky charity people smiling at you and asking "do you have a moment for the environment?" and that sort of thing. As I was enjoying this ambiance I remembered something I'd read recently which concerned me very much indeed: Melbourne City Council, with its new Mayor keen to make his mark, is "reviewing" arrangements for street performers and vendors in Melbourne, with the proposition being that some sort of bureaucratic panel might "audition" potential buskers before they are permitted to busk; the review also looks at chestnut roasters and newsstands (I'm not sure if it applies to the Big Issue sellers, of which there seem to be quite a high concentration in the City, some of whom are a bit Bolshy). Ominously, the purpose of this review is to ensure street buskers and traders "meet the future needs of the city" - I hate that coded bureaucratic language; presumably what they are saying is do the buskers fit with the sophisticated marketing image we are peddling?

I am totally against any plan to "audition" buskers and I am wary of this veiled attempt to sterilise the vibrancy and colour of the city. For many years Melbourne had a reputation for being staid and prim, and these sorts of proposals hark back to those days. It seems to me that if a busker is no good, he'll soon find out because no one will give him any money and he'll either improve or move along. It's a pretty direct form of feedback. So I don't want some panel of experts deciding which busker fits the Melbourne "brand" or some rubbish; busking is the most immediate form of performance art, and it is self-regulating if you ask me, in the way I just mentioned. So I think the council ought to dump that idea toot sweet.

Back to my afternoon. I walked from Reader's Feast over to the GPO, which is not a post office but an upmarket shopping arcade, and had a very nice coffee at Octane espresso. I then ambled down Elizabeth Street to Mag Nation, which is a two storey store full of magazines. It is also full of mostly young people lulling about drinking coffee, using the free Wi Fi and flipping through all of the magazines. I'm not sure how they make a living but I presume some people must buy the magazines now and then. I had been to this store before but I had never been there when the mysterious third floor was open; today it was and I ventured up there to find a book shop focussed on design books. I browsed through a good many of these interesting but expensive books.

By now it was about 3.30, and I felt a little hungry, so I wandered over to my favourite city laneway, Centre Place, which is a tiny little alleyway crammed full of tiny little cafes and with a constant bustling passing parade. It also has some really great, colourful graffiti artworks. It's quite a special place really. I bagged a tiny table at Aix creperie and enjoyed another fine coffee and a ham, cheese and tomato crepe - just what I needed after all that book browsing.

A Day in Pompeii

The Melbourne Museum is currently showing a fantastic exhibition called A Day in Pompeii. Like many people, I am fascinated by this lost city, its apparently pleasure-driven (at least for the elites) lifestyle, and its amazing preservation and archaeology. So I went along to see the exhibition today around 1pm and found the crowds were quite tolerable.

It's a huge exhibit with a large number of Pompeii artefact on display, and much detailed information about life in Pompeii, its architecture, social life, and of course its destruction, "rediscovery" and archaeology. It's very detailed, and includes a 3D animated film of the city's destruction which sounds ghoulish but is actually quite fascinating. There are the inevitable body casts, which are of course very emotional - even though these poor people died in 79 AD, their images at the moment of their deaths (mostly from asphyxiation, rather than burning) are so hauntingly preserved. I would have liked to have seen some more about the lives of the slaves, but overall it is a very comprehensive exhibition.

I learned some interesting things, such as the fact that graffiti was popular in Pompeii - people would write all sorts of saying, witticisms, poetry or political slogans on their houses. The only one I recall was this one: Sex, wine and baths ruin our bodies. But what is life without sex, wine and baths?

I also learned that most of the 20,000 citizens survived by fleeing after the initial eruption. I had always thought that they all died.

I highly recommend this exhibition and may even try to see it myself a second time before it closes in October.

Polanski at the Astor

Last night I caught the 78 tram from Church Street about a block away from my flat in Highett Street, down Chapel Street to the beautiful old Astor Theatre in Windsor. This is truly one of the most special and rare old cinema buildings in Australia. It is a perfectly preserved Art Deco treasure that somehow survived the 1970s and '80s wrecking balls that fell other grand old cinema buildings, and somehow its glorious auditorium survived the indignity of being subdivided into a mini-multiplex of two or three cinemas. It remains a single screen cinema and walking into its lobby is like stepping back in time.

But the Astor is no relic, it is a popular arthouse cinema showing revivals of classic and interesting recent films. Last night was a double feature of Roman Polanski's first English language films, Repulsion starring Catherine Denevue and Cul-de-Sac starring Donald Pleasence and Catherine Denevue's ill-fated younger sister (I forget her name, but she died a year or so after the film was made; she was one of several female stars that Polanski apparently clashed with during the making of a movie, with the most infamous of course being Faye Dunaway in Chinatown; perhaps the tension worked though, because Catherine Denevue's sister in Cul-de-Sac and Faye Dunaway in Chinatown both deliver very effective performances). I'd never seen either of these films and enjoyed them both. Cul-de-Sac is a bit bizarre and darkly funny. Repulsion is basically a case study of a mental breakdown, and found Denevue's performance to be very good.

When I was leaving I was surprised to see a cat in the foyer. Someone told me later the cat lives in the theatre.

Afternoon tea review: Hotel Windsor, Melbourne

This is my most serious afternoon tea review to date. It concerns a Melbourne institution: afternoon tea at the Windsor Hotel, the last true remaining "grand" historical hotel in Australia (and in dire need of a serious cash injection and facelift - everything about this graceful old lady is faded, even if the bones are very good; the chair fabrics in the dining room in particular are quite grotty and ought to be replaced without haste). Today I took my first afternoon tea at the Windsor and admittedly my expectations were high, given its reputation. Those expectations were, while not quite shattered, certainly they were repudiated by the reality. My assessment: this is a hotel that is resting on the laurels of its reputation and history. On the Scott Scale, it earns only 4 out of 10, and that would have been even lower had it not been for the very high quality of the three tier stand presentation and in particular the pastries, which were easily the superior of any hotel pastries I have come across in Australia. Also, the staff were very polite and friendly.

So, if I liked the pastries so much and the food was so nicely presented (which it was, credit where it's due; also, I liked the white linen table cloths and napkins) and the service was fine, then just what, I hear you ask, was the problem?

First, there is the faded grandeur of the room, which badly needs tarting up, and those grotty chairs. Secondly, the sandwiches were very dull. Note the delicious looking sandwiches in interesting bread rolls in this photograph from their website and which I had been looking forward to were substituted, today at least, with some very bland, predictable (egg, salmon, cucmber) fingers on soft white Tip Top style bread possibly bought from the local no name supermarket. Thirdly, the scones were overly sweetened. Okay, sweet scones may be to some tastes. They are not to mine.

Fourthly, and this is by far the most serious problem in my opinion, is the rather shocking fact that the "tea" aspect of afternoon tea at the Windsor seems an afterthought. There is no selection of leaf teas. You do not even get your own tea pot. No, instead the staff walk around carrying huge pots of stewed tea ("Windsor Blend", apparently, and it is the same strong flavoured tea they serve with breakfast - I asked) and they pour it out to you one cup at a time. The tea tastes like the tea you would get on an airplane and is served in the same manner. When it is not being poured, the pots sit stewing on various hot plates at "stations" around the room, rather like filter coffee at large American diners. This utter disdain for the tea itself is unacceptable, particularly in an establishment claiming to do it better than most.

There is also the matter of the price. At $45 on weekdays, increasing to a totally unjustifiable $65 on weekends for what sounds like a rather over the top "indulgent buffet", this is one of the most expensive afternoon teas I've had in Australia or Asia. Yes, it includes one glass of house sparkling wine, but it is simply not worth the price given the overall quality of the experience, and certainly not given the poor attention to detail regarding the choice, quality and serving of tea.

The Windsor does not live up to its reputation. That said, my searingly honest and learned account of afternoon tea at the Windsor published in this obscure and little read blog will doubtlessly make not a shred of difference to the cash cow the Windsor has in its afternoon tea. On a weekday afternoon it was full, especially with women taking photographs of themselves and their food. Bookings are essential and I am sure that the hotel will continue to do very well for themselves out of this nice little earner they have got going. That is, until I do get around to opening my tea salon/champagne bar, and educating the masses about how good afternoon tea really can be!

Afternoon tea review: Langham Melbourne

Had afternoon tea at the Aria Lounge of Melbourne Langham yesterday afternoon. It's quite a nice venue, fairly cosy which is good for winter afternoons. We had the "traditional" afternoon tea (as opposed to the "chocolate" afternoon tea, which sounded rather too much, or the special children's tea, which was a school holiday special and which, according to the staff, had proven extremely popular). The traditional afternoon tea is served on a pleasing three tier platter. The food itself was not exactly exciting: the sandwiches were totally what one would expect (cucumber, egg, salmon) and there was nothing innovative or surprising about them, which was a little disappointing, and they were all served on bland, soft white bread, whereas I think some bread variety is a good thing to have on the plate. The scones were adequate; the clotted cream was very good. The pastries were pleasant without being overly exciting. There was a good choice of teas (including my preferred orange pekoe). It was very reasonably priced at $29 per person, and the staff were quite friendly although it was very difficult to attract their attention in order to procure a second pot of tea when one wanted it.

I must admit that in winter I would like to see a bit more variety offered - cucumber sandwiches are fine and well in summer, but it would be nice to see some little hot treats on a cold winter's day. If I ever do open that tea salon/champagne bar that I often dream of doing, I would have a seasonal menu and I think I'd also have an option for a purely savoury tea - sandwiches, scones, maybe some little baby quiche or something, and a little fruit is really all I need most of the time; often I leave the lovely pastries on the plate as they seem too rich and sweet.

But again I digress. Overall, this is a good, traditional, reasonably-priced afternoon tea experience in a pleasant lounge. It's nothing overly exciting. I'd say it's a very good introduction to the afternoon tea experience for a novice. On the Scott Scale, I give it a 5 out of 10.

Cultural snobbery in planning policy

In defending the annihilation of his own government's long-term planning policy by massively expanding the urban growth boundary to promote urban sprawl as the preferred future urban form for Melbourne, Victorian planning minister Justin Madden has branded anyone opposing those plans as peddlers of "cultural snobbery", a term he obviously likes becuase he uses it no less than three times in this spirited article he wrote for the Age yesterday.

And spirited it should be: an able minister, which by all accounts Madden is, ought to be able to defend his policy positions robustly. And his underlying question - about whether there is an element of elitist "urban cringe" supporting the arguments of those that promote urban consolidation over sprawl - is a valid question to ask. I just happen to be one of the many that disagree with his conclusions.

Madden's position, justified through his emotive recollections of his own boyhood experiences of growing up on the urban fringe, toughing it out with other battler families and determined as a politician not to deny that wonderful formative opportunity to other struggling young families determined to secure their own Australian dream on the urban fringe, seems to be that you should just have an endlessly growing realm of outer suburbia - sprawl ad finitum. He does not seem to consider that the sprawl should end at any point. Since there will always be young families wanting to build new houses on the urban fringe, there should apparently be an ever expanding urban fringe to accommodate those wishes. This is hardly a very sustainable position - does it mean Melbourne should just spread onwards and outwards forever?

I take particular exception to these comments:

Our city is growing and we need to provide housing options so that Victorians have the opportunity to own their own homes.

Why? Firstly, the growth projections are just that, projections, and they should be just one tool employed to shape policy; there ought also to be a component of shaping the sort of future we want, not just reacting to modelling. Secondly, the Australian obsession with home ownership needs to be questioned. In other countries long-term rental accommodation is not only a viable form of secure accommodation, but it is the norm in terms of tenure type. Here, rental accommodation is structured in such a way that it can only ever be a short to medium term option. If we really wanted to innovate, we'd look at a major restructuring to how our rental markets work to make long-term renting a viable option for more people.

Balance is about fast-tracking key building projects to create more jobs to help Victoria through the global financial crisis.

I do not think that planning policy, which more than any other realm of government policy creates a lasting, irreversible legacy in terms of a built environment, is an appropriate conduit through which to progress short-term (and arguably short-sighted) economic development and employment strategies, because we have to live with the results of it for a long time after the short-term benefits have dissipated.

John Brack exhibition

Recently I went to the wonderful John Brack exhibition at the NGV in Federation Square. I can highly recommend it (it's on until 9 August).

Writing in the Australian, Christopher Allen suggests that Brack's painting, including The Bar and Collins Street which are included here, suffered for a lack of empathy with their subjects. I never saw these famous and much loved paintings as lacking empathy; on the contrary, I thi nk The Bar empowers its female subject with a fabulous sense of superiority, and I think Collins Street implies a wonderful, somewhat distant other world that all of its subjects are thinking of, their real world, as they wait for their tram to transport them from the necessary daily drudgery of their work lives to the doubtlessly hollow evening home lives, but in their vacant faces I read a certain capitivation of thought and desire for their real, inner, private selves. Apparently, such a reading was not anticipated by Brack, who later regretted his patronising attitude to those subjects, seeing them as vacant and ignorant apparently, according to Allen. I guess it just goes to show that we all read something different out of art. I clearly am "wrong" in my reasing, not being an expert such as Allen. Then again, I do know what I like...